Cross-Post: Just Not Feeling It

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This was originally posted on my main blog, The Kentucky Mountain Girl News, and I feel is relevant here as well.


I am just going to have to admit it and get it over with.  *sigh*  I am just not feeling Christmas this year.

I’ve done everything I can think of to “get into the spirit” of Christmas, but it simply isn’t happening.  This year I went to people’s wish lists and Christmas lists on Amazon and picked from there the gifts I purchased.  I haven’t gone out to one single store this year nor even tried to get “that perfect gift”, not even for The Husband.

Normally I would have Christmas music filling the house and as soon as someone came in the house I’d be offering them hot chocolate and Christmas cookies of some sort.  I haven’t even asked for Christmas cookies this year from the grocery and I have only drunk one cup of hot chocolate so far.

There is a part of me reasoning out why the Christmas spirit isn’t present.  The reasoning is as follows:

  1. I haven’t been able to get out independently for a while now, so I’ve just gotten used to staying in the house and not going out, so therefore not seeing any Christmas decorations in the stores or anything.
  2. A lot has happened to me over the recent weeks and I am still recovering in part.
  3. Energy levels are fluctuating radically for me due to arthritis flares and migraines (thankfully the migraines are less than the arthritis flares – it is just the time of year for arthritis flares).
  4. No one around me is in the Christmas spirit or mood.

However, the inability to get out independently has been taken care of because Sniffles and Cheyenne have had a porch put on the front of the house and a ramp!  I’ve used the ramp.  I can get out.  Why don’t I?  Why haven’t I been getting out the moment I was able to do so?  There isn’t a desire to get outside and go places.  And, yes, a lot has happened with me over the past few weeks, even months, but When has something not happened to me?  I am an arthritic.  I have been an arthritic my entire life, why on earth would it begin getting to me now?  Plus, it has never bothered me people aren’t in a Christmas spirit before.  I worked hard to help them get into the Christmas spirit, and I usually always succeed.  This year I haven’t even tried, or attempted to get anyone in the Christmas mood, including ME.

Besides, it isn’t anyone else’s job to get me into the Christmas spirit of things.  As I’ve written here nearly every year, Christmas is usually a time of hope and new beginnings for me.  This year there isn’t any of this for me.  I actually feel empty.  I wish I knew what would fill the emptiness because I’d work on getting it all filled up.

One thing I know I am going to begin doing:  I am going to Church.  I am going to schedule a ride on WHEELS and I am going to Church.  I haven’t been in so long.  I am also going to get another Bible and another copy of The Ascetical Homilies of Saint Isaac the Syrian.  After Christmas, of course, because I’ve asked repeatedly for a Bible.

I actually need to have a physical copy of the Holy Bible.  I have continued reading it on my Nook, tablet, and now my husband’s tablet (more about the use of The Husband’s tablet later).  Even though I know I brought Saint Isaac with me when we moved into here, I can’t find the book!  Everyone in the house has been helping me look for it and no one can find it!  It has vanished and I feel like I’ve lost a very important mentor in my life and faith.

I am pretty sure this phase will pass.  I am hoping it will all be gone by the time Old Christmas rolls around.  *sigh*

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I’ve Gone Loom-ing Mad!

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I don’t know what it is of late, but I have things on knitting needles, especially the Options knitting needles and looms.  Right now I’m getting ready to cast on some socks onto my brand new sock loom.

It is the Knit Quick Sock Loom and I am using the Lion Brand Ice Cream Big Scoop Cotton wp_20161027_16_07_54_pro

Cotton Candy colorway.  It is baby yarn and one skein is supposed to make one baby blanket.  The yarn is so soft!  I am really looking forward to making me a pair of socks from the skein.  The only thing I am curious about is:  Can you block acrylic yarn for socks?

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Deadlines and Neckerchiefs

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I’m working on the novel again, which means I’m also doing a lot of knitting.

Unfortunately, there aren’t any pictures yet of the neckerchief I’m working on.  Hopefully, there will be before the end of the week.

Back to work for me.

It Is Late, But I’m Finally Relaxing

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The novel is moving along quite well.  There are 8,000+ words so far, and this is from writing every day plus some research.  Did you know oats were used by the ancient Egyptians?  For some reason this surprised me.  It probably shouldn’t have, but it did.

For some reason, this week has been really stressful.  My best friend suggests it is probably because my birthday is coming up and me and DH are broke until he can get another job.  His joblessness is not because of lack of trying, though.  He has gone on job interviews and filling out more than one job application per day.  Also, if I find something online I think he could do, I also apply.  The list between us is quite impressive.  However, he isn’t employed as of now.

To be quite honest, I am not stressed DH doesn’t have a job because my birthday is Sunday.  I am stressed because he just doesn’t have a job.  Period.  Add to this the difficulties of writing and telling a good story, medicines I need bought, and a laundry list of other items, the stress meter gets pretty high.

Besides prayer, which I feel like I’ve been slacking on (and I’m pretty sure I have been slacking in the prayer department), the one thing keeping me going is knitting.  I said as much to one of my dearest friends this week and she simply didn’t understand.  She looked at me as if another head was growing on my shoulders or I’d suddenly started speaking in a foreign language.

“Well, you do what you want, just remember a nice shot of whiskey never did anyone harm,” she said.  I laughed and agreed.  We politely changed the subject.

What I said, for me, is true.  There is something about the yarn forming patterns, a piece of fabric growing from the needles, eases up the stress in my shoulders, my heart, mind, and possibly part of my soul.

I’m not addressing the problems – there really isn’t anything I can do about them most of the time – but the weight of them eases while I’m knitting.  Luckily I’ve heard other knitters say the same thing.  Do you think it helped the people who knitted because they had to hundreds, perhaps thousands of years ago?  They had to knit for warm clothing.  It wasn’t just a hobby, but a necessity of life.  Did the necessity of it, do you think, take away from the joy of the knitting?  What do you think?

I just wanted to share this thought before getting ready for bed.  I’m going to knit a few more rows and say a few prayers and head off to sleep.

Hope everyone out there has a great night/day, and your yarn doesn’t tangle.